Thursday, January 19, 2012

Missed Armageddon Pt. 1- Broken Jesus

My name's Raleigh Epps, and I saw God.

Charles Manson is the Antichrist, or was the Antichrist. I'm not sure of his current status. I can tell you the story though, how Humanity as a whole was staring down the barrel of a loaded gun and didn't even know it. I can tell you exactly what was supposed to happen and I can tell you exactly what brought the whole cocking thing to an abrupt and immediate end.

Here's the short answer; I'll expound on the finer points later-

In brief: the world was supposed be destroyed in fire, cleansed, purified, and rebuilt as Paradise, or a brand new level of Hell, depending on who won.

Leaders of this revolution? For the red team, none other than Charlie Manson, the aforementioned Antichrist. Hairy little guy never really knew who his father was. In his heart of hearts I'm sure he was afraid his dad was black. Truth is, his dad was Satan. Creepy little racist would have preferred it that way too.

Read up on his plans; Charles Manson envisioned a world where, after using the militant black population of America to kill off all the white people, he, his family, the Beatles and a host of bikers would ride around Death Valley in dune buggies. Charlie and the Mansonites would live primarily in a hole underground until the world was ready to be rebuilt. At such time, the black men would recognize Manson as their rightful leader, hand him the reins to the world and follow him, devout disciples.

What about the blue team? The goodguys? None other than Jimi Hendrix. Wait. What?

You heard me.

What about all that stuff about being in the line of David and riding in on an ass and all that? That's for Jesus, the original Christ figure. Such qualifications don't exactly apply to the second coming.

Calling people to his banner with the wail of an electric guitar, Jimi Hendrix was going to lead the faithful against the Beast. You know Jimi Hendrix was in the Army? He wasn't the best soldier, but he had the training and, infused with holy power, he would have been incredible.

So what went wrong? Drugs. Acid specifically.

Manson's mind was so whacked out on LSD he started the wheels in motion too early early. Hendrix got hooked so bad on women and acid that all the latent divinity inside him manifested itself as incredible, I'd say Godlike, talent and nothing more- a tragedy of missed potential.

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